Monday, January 14, 2013

An Irrelevant Look to the Golden Globes

Welcome to the Golden Globes, where everything is made-up and the awards don't matter.

Ha! You thought we were going to talk about the Golden Globe?
No one cares about the Golden Globes. 
Onto our real article.

Ben Brantley’s theatre review of “Picnic” by William Inge oozes style and panache.

But that’s really all that he oozes. Giving the reader a five-paragraph long description of a walking, hairless torso, perfectly chiseled as if it were a mobile “marble statue” is sure to tickle jollies, though we wanted something more than just the waist up.

Mr. Brantley wrote his biography backwards, if that says anything. Oh, and he is also single.

Brantley admits that “objectification is a major theme of ‘Picnic,’” which excuses his own ogling (he also pays dues to lead actress Maggie Grace’s “exquisitely shaped pair of legs” and her “not-so-bad face” if we are to be fair), however his analysis is only skin-deep.

Though dropping to slightly more serious tone to address the sexual themes of the play in the latter half of the article, highlighting “the role of prettiness as both a burden and an aspiration” as a major undertone to the play, it seems that his own ‘but’ only addresses the chemistry of the actors in the play.

Who is just ogling now, Brantley?

Co-written by Jon Husar and Zac Clark


  1. I also found this review odd, or at least it wasn't what I expected from a play review. I felt that the closest Ben Brantley came to what I perceived as an evaluation of the actual production rather than thematic elements --or deconstructing the Sebastian Stan as a hunk of juicy man-meat-- came in the last three paragraphs and in the brief line about the production design. Though I will admit, Brantley held my attention and gave me something different from what I'm used to, so I believe there is merit in that.

    1. He did indeed keep our attention as well, which is much applauded considereding no-one reads the paper these days.

      Part of the thing we are trying to highlight is whether or not it was too much; basically if everyone else in the class thought that the pay-off of style vs. info was great enough.

      Or does it matter?

      Also, thank you for using the term "hunk of juicy man-meat."